How do I play with my kids?

It's a VERY important piece of parenting that I realized tonight I have forgot how to do.  All 5 of us headed out to the pool after dinner for some fun (and a little vacuuming since the pool is looking swamp-like again).  I vacuumed for awhile while I watched Beau and the boys play.  They played basketball, monsters where Beau chased them around.  He threw them up in the air, did some pile drivers, etc. 

Let's face it...When Beau is around, I am chopped liver to the older boys.  This makes me happy and sad.  The boys are so lucky to have such a good relationship with Beau.  He is a great Dad who is very attentive and loves to kick back and just "play".  Then it makes me a little sad.  Why is Dad the coolest?  What am I doing wrong?  We take turns reading to the boys every other night and whenever it's my turn the boys are bummed because it's not Dad.

I've been reading the book, Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson.  It explains how much little boys need their mom during the infant and toddler age.  When they hit about preschool the relationship between Dads and sons is very important.  The boys need acceptance from their Dad's and a role model to show them "how to be a boy".  Is this why I feel a disconnect?

In May I was so excited for summer!  No classes, very little work and lots of FREE time to "play" with my boys.  Boy was I wrong!  I think I feel busier now than I did in school.  I'm still doing things to prepare for my last 2 classes in the fall.  I have now assumed the "housewife" responsibilities carrying on all the house work, cooking, etc.  I have to balance checkbooks and pay bills (only because I am to OCD to let Beau do it).  I am thinking about church meetings and responsibilities.  I am trying to finish up all the photography sessions before Baby B comes.  I am editing like a mad woman.  I have been working all summer on "organizing" the office and since Beau finally put up shelves after I had asked him for a month.  I've been researching and buying stuff for the new baby.

Now, don't get me wrong, the boys and I have made some trips out to the pool and have taken long naps and watched movies.  However, I just haven't "played".  If they ask me to play a board game it's a ,"Yep as soon as I am done balancing the checkbook....and one game because I need to load the dishwasher and make dinner."  I can't get all this "HAVE TO" stuff out of my head to simply enjoy "playing" with the boys.

There is absolutely no purpose for this post.  I don't have a magical answer and while I'll try to do better about it, I probably won't get very far.  Just had to vent.  Some days I want to have zilcho responsibilities and just PLAY all day!  I've obviously forgotten how.  Maybe I will someday be able to!  I hope.....