It's been a Monday! Running a little late, seeing kids, meeting with my boss, lunch with my ladies (added bonus), seeing more kids, getting up to the school...Ugh, it's already 2:30? Try to hurry through paperwork which is completely pointless because when it comes to special ed, it is endless! Time to pick up the kids, Chance poops as were walking out the door, Hunter won't get into the car because he's playing football, Blake wants me to chase him around the sitter's garage which did not amuse Chance that he had to wait. I get in the car and get a text from Beau to grab pops. Not possible. Both debit cards (and my ID) were in his wallet from date night and guess who used the last check and forgot to tell me. No dinero. I get home and Chance is starving, the dogs need out, they are out of water. I start feeding Chance and Blake wants juice. I tell him he has to wait and he kicks the swing, throws his toys so he goes in time out. He screams the highest pitched scream I've ever heard. "Mom! MOm! Can we have candy?" the older two chime in. At this point I'm like, "Yes! Take the damn candy and shut up!" (Ok I don't actually say it, but I am thinking it!). They go outside to play and within 10 minutes Hunter comes in hysterical because Cole hit him, Hunter's trying to slam Cole in the sliding door and once they both get in I forget Blake's still outside.
Do you ever just have an epiphany moment? I just had one as I was chewing out one boy for lying and yelling at one to knock it off (did I mention I was still nursing?) Beau was barking back at me. I asked, "Why are you so crabby?" He replies, "I feed off of you!" Hmm..... Here's my moment. I stop and think, Who the heck am I? Who is this crazy lady screaming at her kids, giving them candy to shut them up and barking at her husband? I vowed I would never be this person and that's exactly who I am!
I think every parent struggles. You can never be perfect all the time. Mom's constantly think about all the things were doing wrong and how were going to severely screw up our kids so they turn into mask murders or end up in jail for drugs or pregnant by 15, all because they had a crappy mom. And the truth of the matter is: We are humans and just like everyone else. We make mistakes, we screw up. But in the end, for the most part, our kids still love us. They forgive us. They don't see us like we see ourselves.
A friend of mine shared this video and it touched my heart! You have to check it out!
http://www.faithit.com/moms-kids-video-confession-touching/#.UnAerAXTVK4.facebook
(Cole and I made a deal btw. I stop yelling and he stops lying! Let's see how that works out)
Monday, November 4, 2013
Saturday, September 28, 2013
A Matching Set of 4!!!
The day had finally arrived. Although I seriously considered waiting until B4 was ready to come on his/her own, I just couldn't take it anymore. You see, I feel the need to be in control of all situations at ALL times! If this baby came on it's own, would it be in the middle of the night? Would I find someone to come to our house at 2 am? Would they know the boys' routine? Would the baby come when I am 111 miles away from the hospital for work? The longest length of time my sisters went from their water breaking until baby being born was 90 minutes...Would I follow in their footsteps? I do NOT want to have my baby in the car! I want MY doctor to deliver my 4th child like he had done with the last 3. Then there was the whole size thing! Hunter was 9 lb 11 oz. When asking my doctor how big he thought this baby was, he just said that it's measuring on the big size and I just have big babies. What if I wait until after it's due date and is 13 lb and then I have to have a C-section? I can't afford to be down for that long! (although the extra 2 weeks of maternity leave would be nice). Nope. I decided to be induced.
My morning started out at 3:45 am. I couldn't sleep in anticipation of the big day and had to be at the hospital by 5:30 or 6 and it's an hour drive. I showered and shaved and was on the road. We decided that I would take my old work car, Beau his truck and then the person picking up the boys would have the Trail Blazer and we wouldn't have to switch car seats.
I was off and ready to go, the only soul on the road at 4:30 am. I stopped in Wayne for McDonald's. Hey-no judgement! My last two were born at 6 at night! That's a long time to go without food! I got to the Wakefield turn off and all of a sudden everything went dark! What the heck?!! My interior lights went out (except for the radio clock) and my headlights went out but my parking lights were still on. Are you kidding me! Who the heck am I going to call at 5:30 in the morning, and I'm going to be late!!! So I got behind the only other person on the road and drove the 15 miles to Pender in the dark.
Whew I was there. Then the usual happened. I got changed into the gown. Does the opening go in the front or the back? Seriously? I've had 3 kids and can't remember. I get into the bed and then they put my IV in...or try! I was pretty swollen so finding a vein was tough. The first nurse tried twice with no luck and they have a 2 poke policy so another nurse came in and finally got it, on the backside of my hand but down by my wrist, so everytime I moved my hand it hurt..Lovely.
Then Beau calls. He is running late because he took an ice cold shower this morning. The fuse blew and he had to get one in town. He dropped the boys off at daycare, bought a fuse and went home to change it...He bought the wrong one :( So good thing we have an awesome sister in law that went into town, got the right one and then came over and put it in.
Ok. Are these the pregnancy God's telling me that I shouldn't be getting induced? My Pitocin was going but I'm sure I could just go home at this point. About that time the doctor came in. I was 3 cm dilated and he decided to break my water! Eek! They usually didn't break my water until after lunch. Beau wasn't even there yet! What if I had this kid by myself?!
The Pitocin started to kick in and water was broke...Now for the waiting game. Beau was in the room and so was one of my great friends Amanda. It was on her bucket list to watch someone take their first breath. We made bets at what time he/she would be born. We all guessed between 1-2pm. Contractions really started coming hard and strong. I was ready for an epidural. The hardest part is sitting still through it. Beau really wanted to watch and they actually allowed him to this time. Amanda was amazing and stood in front of me, forehead to forehead, letting me squeeze the crud out of her hands. And what could I think about? Man, it felt like my breath really smelled :) While getting an epidural you feel pressure and I could hear this weird clicking noise. I thought it was some piece of plastic that they were twisting. Beau watched until he heard the noise..It was them hitting my bone in my back. Ick! He was done after that!
Whew! Relief! It was about noon by this time. We changed our bets on time to around 4pm. Beau and Amanda went and got Subway and I slept for about an hour. At this time the babies heart rate started "deceling". When they said this about Blake, I had no clue what it meant. His heart rate was dropping to about half of what it should be. I was told to lay on one side, then the other. We were trying to find a position B4 liked. In that process something happened with my epidural...It no longer worked. Holy Cow! I can't begin to describe the pain. I could feel it coming on, would brace myself, focus on a spot on the ceiling and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. I felt like one of those crazy ladies on T.V. moaning and screaming although Beau says I was not doing that. I said "OH SHIT" once then proceeded to apologize for swearing to the team.
His heart was still dropping and the rest is a blur and I'm not even sure what order it happened in. I went from 6 cm to 10cm in an hour or less. His heart rate continued to drop with every contraction. At some point they had to put an internal monitor on his head. When the doctor got there he was told what was going on and he told someone to get the vacuum and that this baby needed to come out.
YAY! Because it felt like it was going to fall out at this point. I wanted to PUSH!!! B4 was face up so all the pressure was on my bum. Great. Not only am I moaning like a crazy lady, swearing, now I was going to crap on the table! (TMI, I know!). They told me to practice push once. This was at 2:30. I pushed once more and half his head was out and the third push the doctor told me to stop. His head was out and the cord was around his neck. They got the cord from around his neck and whisked him away. There were 3 nurses and the anesthesiologist working on him. They had to bag him (which was basically resuscitate him), giving him oxygen.
He wasn't crying. Why wasn't he crying? I kept asking what was wrong. My doctor told me he came so fast that he's having a tough time adjusting and kind of "in shock" about the whole delivery. I kept telling them to make him cry and eventually I heard it. BEST SOUND EVER! The continued to give him oxygen, check his stats and work on him. Honestly this was one of the most terrifying times in my life! I could care less if it was a boy or girl, I just wanted B4 to be ok! By the way Beau did tell me as soon as he was out that it was a boy. I proceeded to apologize and ask if he was mad at me :)
After what seemed to feel like FOREVER but was more like an hour, I got to hold my baby boy! He was absolutely perfect!! An 8 lb 4 oz, 21 1/2 inch long little miracle. After many hours we decided to name him Chance Merlin! We couldn't be happier. He has had no other problems since birth and is thriving.
I thank God that he chose me to be Chance's Mommy and am so excited to have him a part of our life and be able to watch him grow!
Here is a slide show of the pictures that my friend Amanda took during D-Day!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxCzocnYMrE&feature=youtu.be
My morning started out at 3:45 am. I couldn't sleep in anticipation of the big day and had to be at the hospital by 5:30 or 6 and it's an hour drive. I showered and shaved and was on the road. We decided that I would take my old work car, Beau his truck and then the person picking up the boys would have the Trail Blazer and we wouldn't have to switch car seats.
I was off and ready to go, the only soul on the road at 4:30 am. I stopped in Wayne for McDonald's. Hey-no judgement! My last two were born at 6 at night! That's a long time to go without food! I got to the Wakefield turn off and all of a sudden everything went dark! What the heck?!! My interior lights went out (except for the radio clock) and my headlights went out but my parking lights were still on. Are you kidding me! Who the heck am I going to call at 5:30 in the morning, and I'm going to be late!!! So I got behind the only other person on the road and drove the 15 miles to Pender in the dark.
Whew I was there. Then the usual happened. I got changed into the gown. Does the opening go in the front or the back? Seriously? I've had 3 kids and can't remember. I get into the bed and then they put my IV in...or try! I was pretty swollen so finding a vein was tough. The first nurse tried twice with no luck and they have a 2 poke policy so another nurse came in and finally got it, on the backside of my hand but down by my wrist, so everytime I moved my hand it hurt..Lovely.
Then Beau calls. He is running late because he took an ice cold shower this morning. The fuse blew and he had to get one in town. He dropped the boys off at daycare, bought a fuse and went home to change it...He bought the wrong one :( So good thing we have an awesome sister in law that went into town, got the right one and then came over and put it in.
Ok. Are these the pregnancy God's telling me that I shouldn't be getting induced? My Pitocin was going but I'm sure I could just go home at this point. About that time the doctor came in. I was 3 cm dilated and he decided to break my water! Eek! They usually didn't break my water until after lunch. Beau wasn't even there yet! What if I had this kid by myself?!
The Pitocin started to kick in and water was broke...Now for the waiting game. Beau was in the room and so was one of my great friends Amanda. It was on her bucket list to watch someone take their first breath. We made bets at what time he/she would be born. We all guessed between 1-2pm. Contractions really started coming hard and strong. I was ready for an epidural. The hardest part is sitting still through it. Beau really wanted to watch and they actually allowed him to this time. Amanda was amazing and stood in front of me, forehead to forehead, letting me squeeze the crud out of her hands. And what could I think about? Man, it felt like my breath really smelled :) While getting an epidural you feel pressure and I could hear this weird clicking noise. I thought it was some piece of plastic that they were twisting. Beau watched until he heard the noise..It was them hitting my bone in my back. Ick! He was done after that!
Whew! Relief! It was about noon by this time. We changed our bets on time to around 4pm. Beau and Amanda went and got Subway and I slept for about an hour. At this time the babies heart rate started "deceling". When they said this about Blake, I had no clue what it meant. His heart rate was dropping to about half of what it should be. I was told to lay on one side, then the other. We were trying to find a position B4 liked. In that process something happened with my epidural...It no longer worked. Holy Cow! I can't begin to describe the pain. I could feel it coming on, would brace myself, focus on a spot on the ceiling and just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, it did. I felt like one of those crazy ladies on T.V. moaning and screaming although Beau says I was not doing that. I said "OH SHIT" once then proceeded to apologize for swearing to the team.
His heart was still dropping and the rest is a blur and I'm not even sure what order it happened in. I went from 6 cm to 10cm in an hour or less. His heart rate continued to drop with every contraction. At some point they had to put an internal monitor on his head. When the doctor got there he was told what was going on and he told someone to get the vacuum and that this baby needed to come out.
YAY! Because it felt like it was going to fall out at this point. I wanted to PUSH!!! B4 was face up so all the pressure was on my bum. Great. Not only am I moaning like a crazy lady, swearing, now I was going to crap on the table! (TMI, I know!). They told me to practice push once. This was at 2:30. I pushed once more and half his head was out and the third push the doctor told me to stop. His head was out and the cord was around his neck. They got the cord from around his neck and whisked him away. There were 3 nurses and the anesthesiologist working on him. They had to bag him (which was basically resuscitate him), giving him oxygen.
He wasn't crying. Why wasn't he crying? I kept asking what was wrong. My doctor told me he came so fast that he's having a tough time adjusting and kind of "in shock" about the whole delivery. I kept telling them to make him cry and eventually I heard it. BEST SOUND EVER! The continued to give him oxygen, check his stats and work on him. Honestly this was one of the most terrifying times in my life! I could care less if it was a boy or girl, I just wanted B4 to be ok! By the way Beau did tell me as soon as he was out that it was a boy. I proceeded to apologize and ask if he was mad at me :)
After what seemed to feel like FOREVER but was more like an hour, I got to hold my baby boy! He was absolutely perfect!! An 8 lb 4 oz, 21 1/2 inch long little miracle. After many hours we decided to name him Chance Merlin! We couldn't be happier. He has had no other problems since birth and is thriving.
I thank God that he chose me to be Chance's Mommy and am so excited to have him a part of our life and be able to watch him grow!
Here is a slide show of the pictures that my friend Amanda took during D-Day!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxCzocnYMrE&feature=youtu.be
Sunday, August 4, 2013
7 more days?!! WhAAA????
Where has summer gone? Saturday my amazing husband let me go to get my nails (that I can no longer reach) done with a good friend of mine. The lady doing my nails asked, "Did you do anything this summer?" I thought...and at the time I couldn't think of anything "BIG" we did. We surely had to have done something since none of my projects I wanted to get done had gotten done.
Today when I should have been cleaning and editing and taking advantage of naptime, I went through pictures. Man, why couldn't I have thought about what we did when that lady asked me?! We had a great summer!!!!
Here are some highlights
* Trip to my parents
* Night with my best friend and our 8 kids combined
* Splash pad with another friend
* Rodeo with another high school friend who didn't freak when my kid wiped poop all over her bathroom
* Trip to Des Moines to visit Uncle Bunny & Aunt Katie, going to John Wayne Memorial, Bridges of Madison County, the cool castle, etc...
* 4th of July bash with TONS of friends, a 100 yard slip and slide, fireworks
*Cole's 7th birthday which included a friend party at the pool in town and another family party
* Days of 56 Rodeo
*Dixon County Demolition Derby
*Trip to Neligh to watch a drive in movie
*A week of Vacation Bible School
*Cole's baseball season
* Memorial Day get together with the Blatchford's and McGhee's
*Photography for 2 weddings
* Lots of time in our pool (till the Cows ruined it)
* A trip to the Beach with the Olander Clan
* A few dates with the hubby
* Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage with 2 other couples
* 10 days of work
Yeah...I blame the comment, "Nothing" on pregnancy brain. Although we didn't take a BIG vacation to somewhere far away, we were constantly doing something! It was a great summer and have very mixed feelings about going back. I love staying home with my children and watching them grow and laugh and experience new things. Some days are great....But other days are pure hell. It starts with early mornings and constant fighting and bickering and wrestling and breaking/destroying things followed by no naps and me counting down the minutes until Beau gets home!
Going back to school means the boys continue to grow into the men we want them to be. They get to hang with their friends and learn new things. I get to continue what I love to do (for a month anyway). It means that much closer for Baby B making it's debut and that I can't wait for!!!
So, as always, I made a little slide show about what we did this summer :) Enjoy!!!
Today when I should have been cleaning and editing and taking advantage of naptime, I went through pictures. Man, why couldn't I have thought about what we did when that lady asked me?! We had a great summer!!!!
Here are some highlights
* Trip to my parents
* Night with my best friend and our 8 kids combined
* Splash pad with another friend
* Rodeo with another high school friend who didn't freak when my kid wiped poop all over her bathroom
* Trip to Des Moines to visit Uncle Bunny & Aunt Katie, going to John Wayne Memorial, Bridges of Madison County, the cool castle, etc...
* 4th of July bash with TONS of friends, a 100 yard slip and slide, fireworks
*Cole's 7th birthday which included a friend party at the pool in town and another family party
* Days of 56 Rodeo
*Dixon County Demolition Derby
*Trip to Neligh to watch a drive in movie
*A week of Vacation Bible School
*Cole's baseball season
* Memorial Day get together with the Blatchford's and McGhee's
*Photography for 2 weddings
* Lots of time in our pool (till the Cows ruined it)
* A trip to the Beach with the Olander Clan
* A few dates with the hubby
* Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage with 2 other couples
* 10 days of work
Yeah...I blame the comment, "Nothing" on pregnancy brain. Although we didn't take a BIG vacation to somewhere far away, we were constantly doing something! It was a great summer and have very mixed feelings about going back. I love staying home with my children and watching them grow and laugh and experience new things. Some days are great....But other days are pure hell. It starts with early mornings and constant fighting and bickering and wrestling and breaking/destroying things followed by no naps and me counting down the minutes until Beau gets home!
Going back to school means the boys continue to grow into the men we want them to be. They get to hang with their friends and learn new things. I get to continue what I love to do (for a month anyway). It means that much closer for Baby B making it's debut and that I can't wait for!!!
So, as always, I made a little slide show about what we did this summer :) Enjoy!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)