WANTED: Parenting Advice

As you know I have 3 boys!!!  Cole is 6 and is a go-getter.  He hasn't stopped moving since he was conceived!  He always has to be doing something and always moving!  He talks a mile a minute and I don't think he has stopped talking since he learned how to.  Cole does puppet shoes and plays and anything where everyone is looking at him.  Cole does things to make other people laugh.  He was our first child so we focused all of our attention on him.  He has a tough time playing on his own and finding direction.  He is caring and compassionate when he wants to be. 

Hunter is 4 and about as opposite from Cole as can be.  He is very quiet around new people and situations.  He has always been shy.  People even wondered if he knew how to talk when he was younger.  He knew how to talk, just chose not to.  He hates being the center of attention.  On his 2nd birthday he cried when we sang to him.  He is as stubborn as you can get.  He wants it his way!  If any of you know Beau, they have the same temperament: Usually calm and collected but when he gets mad, oh-boy!  He has an awful temper full of screaming and temper tantrums throwing and kicking (objects not us of course).

Blake isn't even 2 yet and I think he's a mix of them both.  He is very curious and wants to be right in the middle of what is going on.  He's a stinker to his brothers by destroying anything they are trying to build or play with.  He knows what he's not supposed to do but I still constantly find him into things he's not supposed to be and on the table!  He can have a temper, but nothing like Hunter.  He can be energetic but not as much as Cole.

Now, I grew up an only child.  I had my parents undivided attention and every toy in the house was ALL mine.  I didn't grow up near any relatives so I was never around boys (eww gross!).  I have no clue how typical brothers this age act. 

I don't know if it is the difference in personalities, the age difference or just because they are boys but OYE!  All they do is wrestle and fight and throw things and fight and kick things and fight  and run in the house and fight.  Every once in a while (usually outside) they play well together.  They haven't touched their toys in....well I don't even know.

I am at my wit's end with what to do with them.  Tonight I had them each chose something to play with and tell me first (yay for early childhood training).  They were both playing great.  Hunter was playing with the cars and Cole was writing something about Wynot beating the Vikings.  The next thing I know is they found a football and are playing with it, tacking each other.  I take it away.  Then they find a teddy bear and they are using that as a football, throwing wrestling and tackling.  Then they find a big tractor tire that started out as rolling it then turned into chucking it at each other.

I just pulled out a humongous box and had them throw all their toys in it.  They don't play with them anyway.  There were some hysterics. 

Now I sit staring at the gigantic box of toys, not knowing what the next step is.  Any advice?

And don't say, you need to keep your kids busy, they are bored.  For 1, we often play with them.  They go places, do different things.  However, if you constantly do this with your kid your either A. Crazy or B. Have one child.  I on the other hand have 3 kids, a full time job and grad classes.  I can't constantly play with them.  Otherwise we would all go naked because laundry wouldn't get done, we would have maggots in our kitchen because dishes had sat there for weeks.  PLUS I think it's an important tool for kids to learn to play constructively on their own.

So, is this normal?  and What do I do with all these toys?

My week in retrospect...

Hunter was still sick on Monday. Blake didn't want to be left out so he joined in on the party...I stayed home Monday and half if Tuesday...and half of Wednesday....Cole's always been a follower and decided to join in today!

My caseload is HUGE the way it is and the referrals keep pouring in...and the assessments for the state are due soon....and I have to figure out a way to make up all the kids I missed this week.



2 trips to the doctor confirmed the boys have a virus and we just have to wait it out...joy!

I was up at 3am getting Blake a drink and heard some noise. Thought it was a rodent joining me....nope! Freezing rain on the windows! And I woke up later to this!!!!



Beau's Grandma went to Heaven on Wednesday. She is now at peace and I'm sure so happy spending time with Rod and everyone else up there.

Bought new snow boots since my kids grow like weeds...and coon skin hats!

Did homework for...a long time am not even close to being done!

Took family pictures for my best friend and loved every minute of it!


Well that sums up the Bensen's week! That's all? Come on now! I'm not superwoman! I'm out! Everyone have a good week!

 

 

 

 

The Rest of the Weekend

Friday night shortly after the pumpkin pictures, Hunter said he didn't feel good.  While the rest of the kids and adults carved pumpkins he laid on the couch.  He even refused to walk up the stairs on his own.

The adults finished the pumpkins & enjoyed some adult time!  My sister, Beau, Beau's brother and I.  Kimm and I spent the rest of the night looking through old pictures and the boys...well they talked about exciting things like farming :)  Blake kept getting up so I was hoping he wasn't getting it too.  Hunter woke up at one point screaming bloody murder all balled up saying his tummy hurt.  I was worried it was his appendix (when he probably just needed to fart or something :)  Even though all the kiddos stayed up late, they were all up by 7am! (GROAN).  Seriously, how do they not understand how precious those extra hours of sleep are!  Hunter, Blake and Myles were all hacking away.  We decided to skip the FFA Fall festival and Cole's soccer game.  Well, I still took him and went.

He did great!  His team won 10-0 and Cole scored 3 goals!

 

 

I was so tired from Halloween fun, sick kids, soccer games, etc. that I was ready to get out of the house!  DATE NIGHT! YES! We decided that because of sick kids we would just go to Yankton to eat and back.  I showered, spent a little extra time on my make-up and hair!  I even remembered to put jewelry on!  I was excited and ready to go! We got into the car, I dug a bracelet out of the glove box and then, the worst thing happened.  I looked down at my ring.... AHHHHHHH!

My beautiful, beautiful ring that I am 100% in love with...Is MISSING THE DIAMOND! My eyes well with tears!  How could I have lost it?  I put the ring on about 10 minutes ago...Where did I go? Well, I put it on in the kitchen, went into the office, into the bathroom, in the living room to kiss the boys, down our sandy lane, in one car to get my purse and into the other car.  I may vomit.  And no....I don't have it insured.  Beau purchased it at Whitehall Jewelers in Sioux City, which closed about a year after I got it.  We never went to the next closes location (Omaha) to have it cleaned or insured. 

Despite how crushed I was, we still had a good time!  I managed to use all my daily points plus a few...ahhem (10) more of my weekly points on Pina Coladas and Mexican food.  It was YUMMY!  We were going to walk around the mall but they were closed.  Seriously a mall closing at 7pm on a Saturday, ridiculous!  So what exciting people we are, we decided to walk around Wal-Mart!  I know!  We bought: a set of earrings for me, some hunter orange stocking hats, a camo bag for hunting and a new (not smell like rotten milk, puke and pee) blanket for Blake hoping we could trade out his other one that I've lost all hope getting clean.  We came home, watched The Vow (AMAZING) and went to bed!

Today was a lazy day!  I got up and laid on the couch for 2 hours, while Hunter laid on the chair.  It was glorious!...Until I went and gave Hunter a kiss and he had a 103.3 fever. BAD MOM, bad, bad mom!  Tylenol and Ibuprofen it is.  We were lazy the rest of the day.  Beau got some stuff done to get ready for hunting season and I did some homework. 

This afternoon I did my second to last session of the year!  I LOVE engagement pictures!  I had so much fun with this couple!  The weather and lighting was perfect! (And Hunter thought it was pretty cool his preschool teacher was on our computer :)  Here are a few!

 

Well, that's it.  We're pretty boring, average...and yeah.  But I am ok with it and loved my weekend (minus the sickies).  Tomorrow I'll be staying home and taking Blake to the Dr.....and doing more homework....and work stuff I have to get done....and get laundry put away (pshh who am I kidding, that's not happening!.... The fun stuff!  Everyone has a great week!

 

FuN FaLL FriDaY!

Getting ready to paint faces!

My niece Myles

Hunter wanted to be a HUSKER!

Cole with his cross-bones (Mom isn't too artistic :)

The crew

Adults have to have fun too!  FISHIES!

(Thank you pinterest)

Hangover 2 anyone?

Myles wasn't a fan off the goop!

Cole loved it!

Carving pumpkins

Beau's specialty...Carving Pumpkins

Sick day?

I have never wanted a "sick day" more in my life! I woke up to the sound of the wind blowing outside. I was freezing thinking about going out in the spitting rain, no reason to even do my hair wind kind of day...but I need to see my kids (my work kids that is).....so now I must shower and head out!.....really hoping they cancel soccer practice tonight! Dear winter- we are not friends. I am not ready for you to be part of my life! Fall is my best friend and I'm not ready to let him go yet. Sincerely- cold and sleepy :)

The Time Has Come

Facebook, Twitter, Texts, Email, Blogs, etc... There are about a bazillion ways to stay in contact with family and friends (and those random people you aren't actually friends with but just are nosy enough to want to see what they are doing).  Social networking is a great communication tool.  Or is it?

This year has been crazy for me & I constantly feel like I'm drowning.  I work my butt off to get caught up, only to myself trying to stay afloat days later.  I can't continue this way or you will all be visiting me in the crazy bin for my 30th birthday party :)

Some stuff just has to go in my life for me to keep afloat.  Now, if only I could figure out what needs to go!
1. My Job- yeah, not an option.  Although I have decided that I will NOT do any "work stuff" at home.  Work stuff stays at work.
2. My Classes-nope. Can't cut that out if I want to keep my job.
3. Photography- I have 3 more sessions this year and I am done. (Silent sigh of relief).
4. Family stuff-NO WAY! I will NEVER miss out on a soccer game or family dinner or anything to do with family.
5. Church- something I should not even consider taking out, but something that has already been put on the back burner.  It's not something I HAVE to do and when I go I spend all the time dealing with/entertaining/shushing my kids and don't hear half of what is said.


Yep those are the big things, I can't give up. So then I looked at other things, things that take up a lot of my time.  Things that even though I really, really, really don't want to let go of, I know I have to to survive and make it to my 30th birthday. (Which by the way I am having a HUGE party for on April 27).

Things that I love, but can't do right now:
1. Facebook
2. Texting (Oh goodness if anyone only knew how much I texted...and no Dad, not while driving :)
3. Words with Friends
4. Go out on the weekends late enough so that I not only spend a day going out, but the next day feeling like crap
5. Pinterest

When I have a bazillion things I need to do and get overwhelmed, I decide to do the above list.  It's not getting me anywhere, it's not helping me, it's making things worse.  So for now, I have to put my focus on what's important and what I need to get done!  I thought I would just not look at facebook, but I don't think that's going to work.  The temptation will still be there.  I'm going to have to de-activate my account for awhile, delete pinterest, words with friends and all my other games off my phone. AND work really hard on not carrying that dang thing with me EVERYWHERE (yes, even to the bathroom).

So, if you need to get ahold of me, send me an e-mail: mama.bensen3@gmail.com or crazy thing...CALL ME!  I would love to talk to you! I will try to write a little something once a week about how everything is going on here, so if you're really that interested in my life, you'll have to subscribe to my blog and check out the latest Bensen happenings.

Thank you all for being such a great support system and I don't think I can finish this without all of you in my life :)

Signing off for now!!

Update on Blake

So, we headed up to Sioux Falls this morning for Blake's 1:15 appointment.  I was definitely ready for answers but not ready for more prodding & poking.  We went through his medical history.  He says that a majority of kids with eczema does have asthma which would explain his breathing/respiratory problems.  However, they do not test for that this young.  They will say that the have an overactive airway---something or other :). 

He had a blood allergy test which came back ok, but he wanted to do a skin test to for sure rule things out.  We talked about the different things he is exposed to and what she should test for.  So, Blake was tested for allergies to eggs (#1 allergy for kids), milk, soy, wheat, mites (the ones that are found in carpets and pillows), cats, dogs and horses.

They test him on the back.  They use this plastic device with 4 different "arms" sticking out  The end of it is a small circle and perforated.  The basically dig these devices into his skin releasing the allergen.  Blake HATED this to say this least.  I was so thankful that Beau went with and held him this time :)  He did manage to move around when they did the horse test.  Then we waited for 15 minutes.

They came back in and checked the site.  When there is an allergy then the site is very red and spreads out from where they poked in.  At first, all the sites looked red and I thought, "Great!  He's allergic to everything!" When he came back in he said they all looked good except for the horse one.  We were tryinc to decide if he was really allergic to it or if it was influenced by the wiggle factor....So they re-did the horse one to show that he was not allergic to that.

NO ALLERGIES!!!  YAAAYYY (I think).  The only bad thing is that there is no allergies affecting his HORRIBLE eczema!  He did explain that there are what they call vaseoactive foods.  These foods are not something that he is allergic to.  He said that these foods open up the blood vessels more than other foods, and will make eczema worse He said that these things in moderation are ok, but in excess aren't good.  So, on Halloween when he wants his chocolate candy, it is up to us to decide if we want a crabby kid or an itchy kid...And an itchy kid isn't always bad.  He also said, that his first drink of alcohol is ok but we should cut him off after that :). Some of the things on the list is alcohol, chocolate, strawberries, raspberries, avocado, oranges, bananas, tomato, fermented cheese, MSG, Red Dye #20.....so basically EVERYTHING!

He also says that because the eczema is not caused from allergies that he will more than likely outgrow it sooner than later! 

So, next week we will be heading to the dermatologist to see if he can shed some insight on his skin!

Thank you so much for all the prayers and well wishes!  It means a lot to us!